Out of Focus
Hi friends!
Back again this week with the opposite of last week. When you have a focus on what kind of person you want to become and what brings you peace, I then want to look at what is taking that OUT of focus?
What is taking our focus off of our path towards becoming that person and what is disrupting our peace? As promised, here is my tangible example:
For me, it’s rushing & being late.
And ever since I became a mom, I felt like I was always rushing and always late. But keeping reading, it’s honestly not actually the kids to blame. :P
When I tried to focus on what was disrupting my peace, I consistnetly found that it was the times I was running late and rushing, I became more and more aware that I am the most unpleasant in these times. I am unkind. Easily irritated. And not proud to admit that sometimes I even find myself dumping my frustrations and all of the excuses on others.
Why am I always rushing? Well, sometimes it’s because I am going from here to there with a 4 and 6 year old who are learning independence and love to do things themselves from packing their bags and waters to putting on their own seat belts. I love that they are wanting to do this all by themselves, but it does cause me to become impatient when we are running late because I know I can move much faster by myself.
But truth is, I am about 15 minutes late everywhere….even when they are not with me. So the times I do not have my kids with me, the reason I am still late is usually because I snooze my alarms.
Yup, I set alarms so I remember to leave and go where I need to, but if I’m talking to someone and my alarm goes off, I always feel bad and snooze it and try to finish up the conversation. Even if it’s going past the dedicated time already committed to that person. Even if I created more margin in my day and give someone two hours instead of what used to be one hour, I still go past that allotted time. I don’t blame the other person since I tend to quickly turn off my alarms when they go off when we are talking and dismiss it as if it weren’t important. To their credit, they have no idea what’s next on my schedule and how being late to one causes a ripple effect to the next and next.
Knowing that snoozing alarms is throwing me off from the kind of person I want to to be, not only a person who is on time, but respectful, kind, and cheery along the way, I need to fix that. Knowing that rushing causes me to stress out and lose my peace, I need to fix that.
So I have begun doing 3 things to help me transition from rushing and being late, OUT of focus:
I set my alarms 15 minutes earlier than I normally would since I always seem to underestimate my time management. I am consistently 15 minutes late, so am adding that much more time back in to my “commute.”
I’ve told other people who I know care about me and my growth what I am trying to do, so they can support me. And you know what’s so cool? They have! When they hear my alarm go off, they tell me “bye” without asking if I need to be somewhere. They encourage me to do what I need to do and I simply say out loud, “Okay got to go focus on the next thing” and they get it.
Instead of setting two alarms for everything, I only have one and when that one goes off, I quickly apologize and say, “Sorry I have another commitment and need to go.” Not “need to go soon,” but go now. And to be fair, before meeting with someone, I let them know in advance until what time I can commit to them.
It’s only been about 20 days in the new year, but so far, this is going much, much better. Every time my kids and I get somewhere early or on time, we do a little dance in the van and have a few minutes to play music and jam out. Now that brings me a little peace! Every time I am early or on time somewhere by myself, I actually tell myself “good job Erin” because I know with consistent routines and practice, I am slowly become the kind of person I want to be.
What do you need to take out of focus to bring you peace?
Hope this was some encouragement for you! And for all of my other rushing friends who are late, let’s do this. One alarm at a time!
